This week's blog is from my friend and amazing medium, Barb Mallon. Barb published the following in her newsletter (www.barbmallon.com) recently, and I think it's really important to share with everyone. - Rob 
A FEW BUT IMPORTANT TIDBITS WHEN HAVING A MEDIUMSHIP READING
 Recently, I've had more people than usual not
 understand how a medium works, how the process works or why they don't 
hear what they wish to hear in a session.  I've even had clients tell me
 how they'd like me to read for them with no "ifs," "ands," or "buts" 
allowed.   I truly can't dictate a reading, nor can I conform how I work
 to fit someone else's expectations.  It's really always best to 
understand how a psychic or medium works, know what to expect in 
advance, and to get good references, rather than be too "on guard."  
Here are a few pointers!  :)
- Allow the psychic or medium to work in 
the way THEY need to work.  Understandably, there are many charlatans 
out there, and you really DO need to be wary of the "generals" in a 
reading (and if you feel the psychic isn't connecting with you, and 
giving vague info, DO let them know and possibly even stop the 
session.)  It's always best to go into a session relaxed and open to 
info and messages, not to hear what you want to hear or connect to that 
exact person in spirit.   Let the psychic or medium do their job in the 
way they need to do it, leave expectations at the door and your session 
will more than likely flow much better.  As I told one lady this month, 
you don't go into the doctors' office and tell the doctor how to examine
 you, or a lawyer how to work on your case.  The psychic needs to 
conduct a reading the way they need to.
- Try to go to a psychic or medium who 
has been referred to you by someone who has had a good experience.  If 
you don't know of anyone who's been to a psychic, try to find a site on 
the internet with fair reviews on the psychic.  While testimonials are 
nice on a psychics website, you really don't know for sure they are 
legitimate, so it's a good idea not to choose a psychic because of his 
or her own website testimonials.  
- Don't call or write a psychic or medium
 for a freebie or "test" mini reading.  Most valid mediums I know need 
to prepare with prayer, meditation and ritual before opening up to 
spirit, spirit guides or the angelic realm.  It's not fair to expect a 
medium to connect on the spot... we have lives too!  :)
- Try not to rate a psychic or medium 
with "hits" or "misses."  There will ALWAYS be information not 
understood during a session that a psychic will "leave you" with.  These
 are not necessarily "misses," and are usually understood at a later 
time.  There will always be validations that occur AFTER the session is 
over when the unknowns in a reading are discovered!
- During a session, if a psychic or 
medium tells you things about yourself, it's a good thing!  I've had 
people tell me, "yes, I know this about myself... so?"  Well, I DON'T!  
This means the psychic is connecting with your energy and if that's the 
case, should be able to link with your people in spirit as well, if 
that's what you're looking for.  We know YOU know things about yourself,
 but a psychic doesn't know anything about you, so this is a good 
indication that a link has been established between you and the psychic.
- For medium sessions where a psychic 
links to your people in spirit, it's important to allow the process to 
unfold in the way spirit would like it to.  Allow them to bring through 
ANY pieces of info, even if it seems "trivial" or "insignificant" to 
you.  Example:  Me:  (laughing...) "wow, he tells me he always late, 
correct?"  Client: (shrugging shoulders...) "yes, he was always late, 
so????"   Again, YOU may know this about your spirit person, but the 
medium doesn't, and this is very important.  The spirit person will give
 the medium anything - seemingly insignificant things, or very 
significant things - to prove to you it's them!   They are all little 
puzzle pieces of information about themselves that you'll put together 
to understand and identify a spirit person.
- On that same note, don't feel a medium 
hasn't connected with your spirit person just because that ONE thing you
 asked them to bring through in your reading didn't come through.  I can
 tell someone 50 things about their spirit person with "yes" to all of 
them, but because that one item didn't come through, the client will 
disqualify the fact that it was the spirit person they thought it was.  
This is so unfair to spirit and the process as they work VERY hard to 
get as much to you about themselves as possible, and then any messages 
THEY feel they'd like to give you.  If you don't hear that one 
particular thing, it's ok.  DO remember to collect all they DID give to 
you, know they did the best they could and thank them.
- Spirit people will also tell you what 
YOU did today, last week, yesterday, etc.  Why?  To show they DO visit 
often and are aware of your life!  Again, these can be just silly little
 things such as you ordering pizza or dropping a bowl on the ground.  
The medium doesn't know you did this, but your spirit people do!
- Understand that a medium is given 
information quickly, symbolically and that their guides use what the 
medium has stored in their brain for references/evidence to give to 
you.  Don't try to make it fit or hang on the exact thing you're waiting
 for.  Example:  "I'm seeing the time when I closed the door on my cats 
tail. Your dad is bringing my experience up because you must have had 
the same kind of experience.  Does this make sense?"   Normally, it 
either very closely makes sense for the spirit person or you, and 
they'll bring this up to give you another puzzle piece.  If you had a 
similar experience and understand what they are TRYING to relay, it's 
best to acknowledge it.
- It's ok to say "no, that doesn't make 
sense for him/her."  You won't hurt the mediums feelings!  The medium 
can and should ask for clarification if something doesn't make sense to 
you.  Normally, it means that two energies may be blending, and that 
another spirit person is trying to come through.  Remember too, that 
some info isn't validated until later.
 All in all? Being an open skeptic is best. Don't reach for everything and make it fit, and don't be so insistent that only certain people or info should come through. Understand that it is a process, and for me, it's much like playing charades when I can barely see, feel or hear them. The connection may be very strong or somewhat light depending on many variables, and we do the best we can to snag that evidential info from them and pass it along to you. So, just try to let the medium do their work and the spirit people or guides do their work as well. This will allow the session to unfold in the way it was meant to!
 

 
 
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