I'm Shattered: Our Weimaraner Dolly Passes on Oct. 22

Yesterday, Oct. 22, 2020 was another tough day in our family. We had to help our Weimaraner, Dolly, cross over and out of pain and it all came on overnight. I'm devastated, empty and heartbroken. *Please Understand I am deep in grief right now and I'm not up for doing readings. I need to process my grief.**

Dolly and I were very in sync- we always knew what the other were thinking. I have such a deep emptiness (especially after our other Franklin passed 5 months ago). 

(Photo right is from 6-24-20 and that's the way I'll remember her)

A disc slipped in Dolly's lower spine on Oct. 21, suddenly rendering her back legs useless. On Oct. 22, Tom, Tyler, Dash  and I spent the morning with Dolly (who couldn't get out of her bed) on the sunporch (see pictures). We had a vet come to the house in the early afternoon to help her pass out of pain and misery. 

OCTOBER 20-21 IT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT - On Oct. 20th, Dolly went to bed as usual on her orthopedic bed.

  On the morning of Wed., Oct. 21, when Dolly awoke, she suddenly couldn't get up from her bed! I thought what happened?  I had to lift her (she's 68 lbs.) and carry her outside to clean her off and remove her soiled diaper (she almost always did #1 and 2 in the diaper overnight but it didn't always catch everything). There's always clean up involved for her and the floor, and the cloth diaper that held the disposable on her, and I could tell she always felt badly about it. 

   That morning outside, though, Dolly just stood (shakily) staring at the backyard light as I washed her backside, and then her back legs buckled again. I got her to rest in the grass while I went inside and quickly grabbed the second clean cloth diaper, and put a (human-grade) incontinence liner in it. I quickly stripped the bed that was messed, and replaced the cover and blanket and put her on it. (then I handwashed all the soiled stuff), 

   Later in the morning, she couldn't get up again, so I carried her outside. At least she was able to do #1. Not so by the afternoon. It was apparent the disc was slipping more and quickly, because by 3 p.m. she couldn't even move from her bed. . 

WEDNESDAY OCT 21 -The dogs always love to accompany us on the drive so, we lifted Dolly, Tyler and Dash into the pickup's back seat/bench covered with a comforter. Dolly was content and didn't move the entire time. Once home, her legs wouldn't support her at all and she couldn't even pee. The disc was apparently affecting her entire backside.. I carried her outside again at 10pm to try and do something but she couldn't. Tom and I were even both holding her up. 

   I quickly realized that it was a disc and felt a bulge on her spine behind her tail. It was exactly what happened to Franklin, but he was in pain. Fortunately, Dolly was on pain meds and they were adequate. I also knew that at almost 16 years old, and with air pockets in her lungs she couldn't be operated on. She was frustrated, miserable, and worn out. I knew we had to make the dreaded decision. 

PEACEFUL PASSINGS - Our friend Shelley, who is also a dog rescuer, messaged me that evening about Dolly's status. I told her Tom and I talked about it, and knew it was time. Dolly couldn't get up or move around. Shelley told me about a Baltimore/Annapolis service called "Peaceful passings" where a veterinarian comes to your house to help your dog cross over. Most vets won't do that, so this service contracts with local doctors to allow for it. I placed the call at 8pm (of course they were closed),but they called me back at 7 am on Thursday the 22nd. I arranged everything for the afternoon, so Tyler, Dash, Tom and I could spend time with Dolly (even though she slept 95% of the time).

WEDNESDAY NIGHT SLEEPING IN THE KITCHEN WITH DOLLY - Every night since Franklin passed, Dolly had difficulty sleeping So, I slept on the kitchen floor until she fell asleep each night. Wednesday night, Tyler (our youngest Dachshund) and I stayed together next to Dolly the entire night. Dolly awoke about once an hour, and at one point I had to move her to her right side (she starts out laying on her left) because of the arthritic pain in her hips. 

THURSDAY, OCT 22 

EARLY MORNING VISITORS - At around 3 am, Dolly lifted her head high and stared at the door to the Laundry room and den. She wouldn't move despite my attempts to get her to lay back down. Finally, I turned and looked at the door. I was surprised. There were the spirits of my mom and dad, our friend Ed, Franklin, Buzz and Sprite all standing there waiting for Dolly to cross over. I knew it was the right thing to do. 

THURSDAY, OCT 22, THE LAST DAY - When we got up at 5:30 a.m. and she had messed in her diaper. We carried her outside and she wasn't physically able do anything anymore. The bladder muscles were not working.  I cleaned her off outside, carried her back in and we put on a clean cloth diaper and large incontinence pad. She was miserable. She couldn't move her back legs or her butt.  She was moaning and wouldn't eat - except finally one lone chicken treat and some water. Her paws even felt cold. She stared into space and didn't acknowledge me much. 

Our family all stayed in the sunporch with Dolly all morning. For the most part (thanks to a pain pill I gave her at 5:30 a.m.) she was resting comfortably. She was very patient (always has been). The vet came in the early afternoon to help Dolly crossover on a blanket in the backyard, surrounded by me, Tom, Tyler and Dash. 

FINAL THOUGHTS - I can only take comfort in knowing her decline was in 1 day. 12 days before on Oct. 10th, she found the strength to walk around the entire block. 9 days before on Oct. 13, Dolly did agility in the living room after dinner with the two boys for about 20 minutes and sometimes she led the way again, despite having only about 20% of her vision! 2 days before the 22nd, on Oct. 20, she walked around the backyard doing "Stop" and "Come" for treats. Dolly has shown her drive: "Life is what you make it, and I believe in not sitting around feeling sorry for myself just because I have bad arthritis and my vision is next to nothing. I hope I'm an inspiration to everyone, people and doggies, to try and do anything!"