As you may know, I just published my third
book called "Pets and the Afterlife" about how dogs and cats can
communicate with us from the afterlife. Today, a very good friend of
mine who works with adults who tragically lost their human children told
me that some of them were "offended" by my promotional postcard that
compared losing a pet to a losing a child.
To those folks, I say that it's important for people who either have human children and / or don't have pets to not criticize those of
us who have a dog or cat and look at them as our children. One reason is because couples like my partner and I cannot have children. Another is that even people who have human children also regard their pets as children.
SO, WHY DO WE (and other) PET PARENTS CONSIDER THEIR DOGS/CATS CHILDREN?
I
think about and mourn the loss of our dogs Buzz and Sprite every day, just as people mourn the
passing of their human children. Why? Because, we taught them how to go
to the bathroom, bathed them, groomed them, took them to (obedience)
school and was excited at their graduation, watch them interact with
others, take them to the doctor when they're sick, play with them, teach
them, make friends, learn, love etc. They share love, anger, fear,
excitement, just like human children do- Dr. Stanley Coren tested dogs
(Chapter 3 of my book) and proved many have the intelligence of a 3-4 year old
child.
Dogs
know when we're disappointed in them if they tear
something up - and we come home, find out and they cringe. They know
when we're sick and stay by our side, like human kids do.
The only thing they don't do is have careers and take care of us when we're old.
What's more, and more is that WE have to make the decision to put our
"pet child" to final rest, something human parents don't really contend
with unless in certain tragic circumstances. - And that is the hardest
part of unconditional love. So, for anyone that says to pet parents like
me who can't have children, that pets are not like children, they
choose not to recognize things outside of their own lives.
My dogs are my children. I am responsible for feeding, caring, loving them and
keeping them healthy, just as humans are with human children. To tell me
otherwise is as disrespectful of my feelings, and hurtful to me as my sentence was apparently to them. So it's a matter of perspective.
Yes,
of course losing a human child is horrendous. But to people that don't
have human children, people that DO have them need to understand it's
the same feeling of shock, horror, sadness, depression and a longing
that will never be fulfilled. Grief is grief, and no one should tell you how to feel over losing someone you love.
Nana (Norma)