This week's blog is from my friend and amazing medium, Barb Mallon. Barb published the following in her newsletter (www.barbmallon.com) recently, and I think it's really important to share with everyone. - Rob
A FEW BUT IMPORTANT TIDBITS WHEN HAVING A MEDIUMSHIP READING
Recently, I've had more people than usual not understand how a medium works, how the process works or why they don't hear what they wish to hear in a session. I've even had clients tell me how they'd like me to read for them with no "ifs," "ands," or "buts" allowed. I truly can't dictate a reading, nor can I conform how I work to fit someone else's expectations. It's really always best to understand how a psychic or medium works, know what to expect in advance, and to get good references, rather than be too "on guard." Here are a few pointers! :)
- Allow the psychic or medium to work in
the way THEY need to work. Understandably, there are many charlatans
out there, and you really DO need to be wary of the "generals" in a
reading (and if you feel the psychic isn't connecting with you, and
giving vague info, DO let them know and possibly even stop the
session.) It's always best to go into a session relaxed and open to
info and messages, not to hear what you want to hear or connect to that
exact person in spirit. Let the psychic or medium do their job in the
way they need to do it, leave expectations at the door and your session
will more than likely flow much better. As I told one lady this month,
you don't go into the doctors' office and tell the doctor how to examine
you, or a lawyer how to work on your case. The psychic needs to
conduct a reading the way they need to.
- Try to go to a psychic or medium who
has been referred to you by someone who has had a good experience. If
you don't know of anyone who's been to a psychic, try to find a site on
the internet with fair reviews on the psychic. While testimonials are
nice on a psychics website, you really don't know for sure they are
legitimate, so it's a good idea not to choose a psychic because of his
or her own website testimonials.
- Don't call or write a psychic or medium
for a freebie or "test" mini reading. Most valid mediums I know need
to prepare with prayer, meditation and ritual before opening up to
spirit, spirit guides or the angelic realm. It's not fair to expect a
medium to connect on the spot... we have lives too! :)
- Try not to rate a psychic or medium
with "hits" or "misses." There will ALWAYS be information not
understood during a session that a psychic will "leave you" with. These
are not necessarily "misses," and are usually understood at a later
time. There will always be validations that occur AFTER the session is
over when the unknowns in a reading are discovered!
- During a session, if a psychic or
medium tells you things about yourself, it's a good thing! I've had
people tell me, "yes, I know this about myself... so?" Well, I DON'T!
This means the psychic is connecting with your energy and if that's the
case, should be able to link with your people in spirit as well, if
that's what you're looking for. We know YOU know things about yourself,
but a psychic doesn't know anything about you, so this is a good
indication that a link has been established between you and the psychic.
- For medium sessions where a psychic
links to your people in spirit, it's important to allow the process to
unfold in the way spirit would like it to. Allow them to bring through
ANY pieces of info, even if it seems "trivial" or "insignificant" to
you. Example: Me: (laughing...) "wow, he tells me he always late,
correct?" Client: (shrugging shoulders...) "yes, he was always late,
so????" Again, YOU may know this about your spirit person, but the
medium doesn't, and this is very important. The spirit person will give
the medium anything - seemingly insignificant things, or very
significant things - to prove to you it's them! They are all little
puzzle pieces of information about themselves that you'll put together
to understand and identify a spirit person.
- On that same note, don't feel a medium
hasn't connected with your spirit person just because that ONE thing you
asked them to bring through in your reading didn't come through. I can
tell someone 50 things about their spirit person with "yes" to all of
them, but because that one item didn't come through, the client will
disqualify the fact that it was the spirit person they thought it was.
This is so unfair to spirit and the process as they work VERY hard to
get as much to you about themselves as possible, and then any messages
THEY feel they'd like to give you. If you don't hear that one
particular thing, it's ok. DO remember to collect all they DID give to
you, know they did the best they could and thank them.
- Spirit people will also tell you what
YOU did today, last week, yesterday, etc. Why? To show they DO visit
often and are aware of your life! Again, these can be just silly little
things such as you ordering pizza or dropping a bowl on the ground.
The medium doesn't know you did this, but your spirit people do!
- Understand that a medium is given
information quickly, symbolically and that their guides use what the
medium has stored in their brain for references/evidence to give to
you. Don't try to make it fit or hang on the exact thing you're waiting
for. Example: "I'm seeing the time when I closed the door on my cats
tail. Your dad is bringing my experience up because you must have had
the same kind of experience. Does this make sense?" Normally, it
either very closely makes sense for the spirit person or you, and
they'll bring this up to give you another puzzle piece. If you had a
similar experience and understand what they are TRYING to relay, it's
best to acknowledge it.
- It's ok to say "no, that doesn't make
sense for him/her." You won't hurt the mediums feelings! The medium
can and should ask for clarification if something doesn't make sense to
you. Normally, it means that two energies may be blending, and that
another spirit person is trying to come through. Remember too, that
some info isn't validated until later.
All in all? Being an open skeptic is best. Don't reach for everything and make it fit, and don't be so insistent that only certain people or info should come through. Understand that it is a process, and for me, it's much like playing charades when I can barely see, feel or hear them. The connection may be very strong or somewhat light depending on many variables, and we do the best we can to snag that evidential info from them and pass it along to you. So, just try to let the medium do their work and the spirit people or guides do their work as well. This will allow the session to unfold in the way it was meant to!